Surfing

Well, I have been a surfer all my life, wondering at times what it really meant for me, beyond the fame, the nice landscapes, the cute blond girls waiting and cheering on the beach...the fun, the ecstasy even ...of great waves, big ones...
Learning how to swim with a father grabing one leg, one arm and throwing me into the shore break...
Shaping wooden bogie boards before foam bogie boards even existed, in Tahiti...skim boarding with polynesian kids...
Learning the rythm of the sea, the pace of the universe, through these changing waters, currents, sunsets...impermanence...never twice the same wave...never possible to repeat the same move twice
You need to constantly adjust, adapt to moving scenarios, overcome the fears of the unknown...learning respect, balance, as well as daring, growing with courage...

But I guess today I start to put all this into perspective...my surfing of 'life waves', as they come along, never as I plan/expect ... accepting them as opportunities to grow, to learn...to position myself in my surroundings, every time closer to what I need... closer to Mother Earth, the Universe, God's plans, Amma's love...

All those things that make my life full, that give meaning to my being here...a true purpose...

So even when I cannot, I try to 'surf', to feel the energy of life. I ground myself, lower my center of gravity and imagine myself getting into the... tube...even when the energy is bad, hard, dirty...when life gets hard...

It is almost like going surfing when waves are poor, the conditions are hard, just training, trying to be ready for when the swell is going to be perfect and you need to be in shape...

So just trying to keep on practicing...
hoping that the repetition (sadhana) of the moves will have me ready to be more in tune with the wave inside energy, more in tune with my own energy...

and yet detach from it...

Trying my best and detach from the results, from expectations...my own, others'.

Just being there, sometimes floating on that piece of foam, out there on a grey rainy day, waiting for the big sets, feeling the silence, the loneliness of a big swell, not perfect, but powerful... just the swell of that day...

Accepting where I am without dreaming of being somewhere else...

Imperfectly... perfect... for me, for where I am...what I need... here and now