Bdays...

...

I must admit I was never that good ...around the 12^th of June!

Never really felt that happy about it....
William Wordsworth would say (see Inspiring section): "In that sweet mood when pleasant thoughts bring sad thoughts to the mind!"

maybe coz it felt just like a like a reminder of my perception of that trick some woman used ...to get the man she had fallen in love with? ! well I know now what perceptions mean! but some pain is still burning inside...

Or just because for years, in June, I was in the middle of exams: baccalaureat, business school prep, business school finals… military duty, Siemens EAE (evaluation reviews…)…not really the best time to enjoy a special day!

So the start of the summer often felt like pain to me.

Strangely this year I had no choice: work, work, work… again (not like last year in the Himalayas finishing an amazing Vipassana meditation retreat)... but this time in a seva way…serving selflessly, relentlessly!

And that worked…

I loved the class I gave to the 21 Masters from EOI Madrid on skype.

Hard to focus more than 2 hours on skype and 21 students, but a really interesting experience

I loved the session in recycling for 2 hours...

I loved the meetings I had with key Amrita University on topics like syllabus on SI/SE, center for sustainability, PhD registration…

All this finished at 7PM, exhausted having waken up at 4.30AM for archanas…

By buying a big cake to share with my ashram buddies… with: 43, Zorionak Jnananand!

Some basq memories mixed with my new life and dedication…

And a day with punctual long distance calls, skype to capture the voice and presence of 'un etre cher'!

Funny, when only old friends whom I had not heard of in a long time signal themselves and wish you well, when your family seems absent…again.

Well... impatience and lack of faith....this afternoon a call from Corsica and a few emails from family members proved me once more that ... expectations… do not make you grow.

Distance, detachment are the surest way to compassion and love and forgiveness...

 

"The distance between the problem and the solution is often the one between your knees and the ground!"

Felt good, truly good to start to own my purpose, to feel a true recovery operating its chirurgical healing, to surrender finaly to devine plans!
Without ever knowing them… understanding, just trusting.
and fall on my knees... once again!

Grace flowing and... a heart that starts to expand again, with less fears, cramps…

Free to be me, claiming it, yet willing to grow, look in the same direction, give back, receive, and smile at life …dance to the rhythm of the world.
New year starting today, new era, free, new...me?

At least sure to be on the right path... here and now... and choosing every day... serenity, compassion...and love